Success – The need to be “The Best”

We hear a lot from folks who want to be "the best". I think there's some narcissistic tendency on the part of those folks...to need the gratification that comes from such external praising. To be the best, you need to be considered the best. But, by who? There are photographers I know here, who produce terrible work: cheesy, bad composition, over-saturated and just plain awful! But, on their Facebook page, some of their 5000 followers will like the latest offering by the hundreds. But, it says nothing Read more [...]

Motivational Techniques – An Illustration!

Today, I spotted a post from someone who looks to encourage others to achieve the impossible. In this case, it's about losing weight and getting fit. Now, as a person with a slight growth in the "tummy area"...I can relate to the frustrations of excess poundage where once a sizzling six-pack resided. I'm also renowned for having less than a politically-correct sense of humour...but even to me...the image posted, see below, is pushing the limits of acceptable taste in humour!!   Accompanying Read more [...]

Vaginas & Chicken Heads!

Arriving at the checkout...and still with some bronchitis...I politely coughed...with my hand over my mouth. Two women were right behind me... 1st Woman to the other - "Hmph...why does this boy think we want to share in his germs...I eh wanna be sick". (The response of the other "lady" was too offensive to say here). Me - "Ladies, allow me to apologize...I'm sensitive to infections, and actually allergic to yeast. I think you may find that one or both of you is carrying some kind of vaginal Read more [...]

Things that crossed my mind today…

1- Was there ever a Rastafarian...who stopped smoking weed in order to afford the ticket...and actually go to Zion as dictated by his cult? 2- Why is it unacceptable to write "Heavens..that is one UGLY child!" on people's photos? 3- When people get hit by buses on crossings...and people pray for their recovery....why does no-one ever ask where the same God was to stop it happening in the first place? 4- Did I travel back in time...because it seems Network Marketing has ominously reappeared Read more [...]

Mentoring…young minds are dangerous…!!

We all know that guiding and nurturing children is paramount , not only to their development, but also to the future of the world in which we live. Dragging their satchels, rucksacks and coats down the street, are future doctors, nurses, teachers and lawyers...and of course, drunks, women-beaters, politicians and thieves! So, it's important when possible, to offer guidance to young minds, to encourage them to think laterally about themselves, their world and their futures. That's where mentoring Read more [...]

Jesus take the wheel..

Life is the best comedy…

2 women left the local convenience store recently…one walking who said “Remember sister…let Jesus take the wheel!” The other replied “Amen to that! Bye!” and got into her car…
Suddenly…”Scream & Thud” as her car flew back and knocked over the other woman…!!
Attempting not to explode with laughter…I helped the woman up…and said “Looks like Jesus can’t drive then!!!”

Valentines Doll…!

calls local greeting card store…

“Hi, your ad says “Everything you need for Valentine’s..”
-“Yes, we have cards, toys, teddies, candles”
“Great! I’d like a female, petite, smiley, funny, down to earth…and maybe a little kinky for those moments when I feel a little frisky”
-“Sorry, we don’t sell women”
“But you said “EVERYTHING” I need!”
-“..Goodbye sir!”
“Ok..ok..ok..sorry…listen…how about a blow up one then…?”
……-*(beeeep)!

The Girl at the Gas Station…

“The Girl at the Gas Station (to be known as “gags”)”…

Ray – “Hi, can you put $50 in please…”
Gags – “uggg”
Ray – “Thanks…”
Gags – “You can take me wid u for 50 more Mr White Man….”
Ray – “(gags…!!) No….lord no…thank you(?)….but no!”
Gags – “F*** you then man!”
Ray – “Look, I said NO already!!”

I got outta there so fast…and I was half way home before I realised I’d forgotten the car!!!

Brontosaurus….?

…calls local supermarket…
“Hi, could you tell me…do you sell Brontosaurus?”
“Yes sir….ummm…can you hold on please?…Sir….did you say Brontosaurus?”
“Yes…yes I did…it’s for xmas….”
“Oh, that’s nice…how do you spell it?”
“BRONTOSAURUS…”
“I’m sorry sir, I don’t think we have it”
“Oh ok then…how about Albatross??!”
“Sorry sir, I’ll have to check…..”

A simple, racist nationalist!

This is absolutely true!  Tonight, on Facebook: Tarah Marty Carla Edward "in my life there's been heart ache and pain i don't know if i can face it again can't stop now i've travelled so far to change this lonely life i wanner know what love is i want you to show me!!!! gonner take alittle time alittle time to look around me....." Ray Hardy Bloody Foreigner....!! Julien Le Guen Ray, we are all foreigner of someone! What you say makes you a racist or just a simple person who is Read more [...]

A friend in need…just say nothing…!

You know those times, when something falls out of your mouth, and without looking up, you just know you said the wrong thing! As guys, women spend years telling us to listen. When we offer a retort, we're told "I only wanted you to listen, why'd you answer me? How could you possibly understand?"  So, we get wise, and the next time we listen...we say nothing...smile proudly...and then hear "So, you have nothing to say?". In time, we begin to understand that the rules change every day...and there's Read more [...]

Some silly things that people do and say…

This is absolutely true. No, really, it is! I was enjoying a conversation yesterday with a friend of mine on MSN. You know, the kind of friend who can't program the VCR, fills up a digital camera long before learning how to get the photos out of it...but makes the best lasagna known to man, allegedly! During the course of the conversation, which was via microphones connected to our respective PCs, this friend once again hit the desk and jungle of wires underneath it, causing the microphone to once Read more [...]